In May 2007, my wife and I attended our son Dustin‘s 5th grade graduation. This was a big deal for the students. They were getting ready to transition to middle school, which, in hindsight for me, was my three worst years ever! Most of these young kids had no idea the challenges of middle school, so they were just excited to enjoy the day.
As we walked into the auditorium, we were handed a little program for the graduation ceremony. The inside featured the agenda, and then on the back page there was a list of all of the occupations this year‘s 5th grade class wanted to aspire to when they grew up. The list was impressive. Students wanted to become President of the United States, inventors, professional athletes, musicians, business owners, and there were even a few teachers.
As I looked at that list, though, I wondered what life would be like for these kids in the future. How many of them would achieve those dreams? And how many others would fall for short of these goals? Nobody in 5th grade mentioned they wanted to have a boring job, in a dead-end career, living with a lazy or abusive partner, but in fact, some of these kids probably are. When do these wonderful dreams of youth end and reality begins? What is the difference between a person that sets a big goal and one that accomplishes it?
These are two questions I have no answer for, but some theories. I think what happens as we grow out of childhood is that we quit dreaming. We’re probably told that we must buckle up and get serious if we want to succeed. That’s when our well-meaning parents or family members suggest career paths for us based on what works for them that probably worked fine until maybe the last 20 years when career paths became so decidedly different. Who could’ve predicted that there are multiple individuals who making a living in a gig economy. How many more could’ve imagined the F.I.R.E. process for retiring young? But also, who could’ve predicted how artificial intelligence and automation would begin eliminating traditional career paths?
Add on top of that, how many of your friends and colleagues are unhappy in their current career? Maybe it’s the “sunk cost” mentality and it’s too late to change. Maybe it’s the fear of starting over. Or maybe it’s just a resignation that a person will have to work to live, so it’s just part of life. Maybe more than anything it’s the fear of the unknown.
As I enter what I’m referring to as my 4th Quarter of Life, my intention is to maximize whatever time is left. I’ve been fortunate to be able to realize some of my dreams of owning a business and doing what I want to do but there’s a shelf life to those things. Rather than one day waking up to realize I’m irrelevant, I’m starting to figure out how to be intentional about what I want to do. No clear plans yet, but it will most likely involve barbecue and catering, painting, and pottery.
You might wonder why a person wouldn’t just be content to relax and do nothing. What I’ve learned over the past few years watching parents aging is that time is short, and quality of life is never guaranteed. My dad dreamed of the day when he could retire and spend his days just researching and doing deep dives into his Bible. Due to some very poor financial decisions, he had to work right up to age 77, the age that ALS took his ability to walk. He was able to do his research for maybe a year and then that was it.
So, the week’s question on “WHAT did you want to be when you grow up?” might better be reframed as WHO do you want to be not only in the future but right now? And depending on who that person is, what should that person most focus their timeline on? If you’re reading this today, you are most likely independent, and can make your own choices. Maybe today is the day you quit using what everybody else thinks is right for you and do with your heart tells you.