One of my favorite comedians of all time was Rodney Dangerfield. His favorite line was “I’ll tell ya…I don’t get no respect…” and then he’d launch into a story which always ended in some sort of self-deprecating humor.
Aretha Franklin? Of all the songs she’s famous for, the one you always associate with her is 1967’s Respect.
Let’s just say by some miracle this year, the NFL’s Jacksonville Jaguars win the rest of their games and run the table all the way to the Superbowl Championship. I guarantee every player will begin his interview in the winning locker room with something along the lines of: “see nobody respected us and look at us now…”
Respect is something we all crave. What does it really mean? Respect says that others take us seriously.
From the first time we get sat at the “kid’s table” at a family gathering to the time we’re deliberately left out of a critical meeting at work, we desperately want to be taken seriously. If right now you find your motivational level at work, home, elsewhere to be waning, ask yourself if it’s because of a lack of respect.
- Has somebody laughed at a suggestion you made at work?
- Have you been asked to leave a meeting because some confidential information was going to be passed along?
- Are people going around you and speaking to your boss instead of you?
- Do people listen to somebody else when you’ve given them that exact same information?
If any of these are yes, then you are probably suffering from a lack of respect. How do you fix it? The key is improving your credibility. Here are some suggestions (and they follow one of my many triangle models:
Technical Skill Improvement:
- Become an expert in your field
- Assess the viability of what you know and practice now. Find new areas to grow.
- Read about and research your current field. Look for the new trends.
- Get an advanced degree or certification in your field.
Critical Thinking Skill Improvement:
- Practice systems thinking. Read Peter Senge’s book The Fifth Discipline.
- Get used to looking at systems and processes rather than just results.
- Quit finding blame and look for root cause instead.
People Skill Improvement:
- Make a commitment to communicating clearer.
- Take some personality assessments and figure out how you’re wired (so you can relate better to those around you.
- Quit assuming everyone is out to get you. Find something positive in others and build on it.
If you’ve neglected any of these areas, it’s possible you’ve built yourself a poor reputation. The only way to fix it is to commit to improving it. Don’t announce it, just do it.
Respect is hard to earn and easy to lose. The list of the respectless is long, from Lance Armstrong all the way to the U.S. Congress. Once lost, it’s hard to rebuild. One thing for sure though, without making the effort to improve it, you’ll never get that respect that you desperately need.