These days, it’s pretty common to see some really bad situations portrayed on both TV and social media news. Typically, its self-shot video that surfaces and immediately goes viral. It highlights some bad behavior and the victims of such behavior. Condemnation is swift and the perpetrators castigated and loathed.
In many cases, the reporting is accurate. In a few though, once additional video surfaces, the original incident is given a context and it’s revealed that what we initially saw was not the whole story.
I thought about that today and it brought back memories of when my kids were small. Unlike yours, my kids seemed to fight incessantly. Most days, the bickering became part of the white noise parents are forced to tolerate. But occasionally, one would scream loudly and start crying. That was the alarm bell I’d need. I’d rush back to their bedroom and punish the one who wasn’t crying, assuming they did something horrific to the other.
And now, in hindsight, and also with the willingness of my now-adult children to own up and verify, I usually punished the wrong one.
In both cases, the world, and me, tend to view life through a hole in the fence.
Think about this: what would a parade look like if we watched it go by through a hole in the fence? We might see part of a marching band go by, row by row. Then we’d see a float pass by. There might be a convertible with a beauty queen or war hero riding in it, then more bands and floats.
We wouldn’t see a theme, just objects moving by in a single frame. We’d know it was a parade but would have little else to connect any dots.
And this is what happens with that viral video via social media.
It’s what causes a stressed parent to hear just one side of a story and punish the wrong child.
Unfortunately, it makes a Boss make a snap judgement on a behavior or a gut-decision on a situation that can be pretty bad.
So as The Boss, what can you do to avoid this “hole in the fence” mentality?
Climb up on top of the fence and look to the left and the right! As The Boss, we have to master the art of discovering context. That means looking at the whole situation. It means getting different perspectives. Mostly, it involves managing our emotions and staying calm.
And it’s easy to say that now, without the real-time stressors you’ll be facing, but use this quiet time to prepare yourself. So here are some suggestions:
- Don’t React Immediately. When you hear that complaint or observe that behavior. STOP.
- Discover the Context. What happened before the outburst? Who was involved? What is the history? Where are the patterns?
- Slow is Fast. Take your time before making a decision.
- Address it Appropriately. This is the equivalent of holding off before posting that snippet of inflammatory video or rushing into your kids’ bedroom to punish the kid who isn’t screaming.
We live and work in a fast-paced world that’s compounded by people having access to video cameras and methods of sending video to the world in seconds. Your behavior today can be broadcast to the world putting YOU on the hot seat. As The Boss, you can’t afford that. Protect yourself and protect your house by making reasoned judgements and decisions. Get your eye out of the hole and sit on top of the fence.