When my wife worked as a financial advisor, one of the things I looked forward to least was her annual office holiday party.
It was held at her boss’s house and was a catered event. Spouses were invited and most reluctantly attended. In addition to the mingling, there was the obligatory white elephant gift exchange that always went on far too long. The worst part though was the alcohol-enhanced complaining that went on with all the advisors. When I would ask them how things were going, the replies always went something like this.
- “Well, we’re doing our best to try to get on Post to find clients, the problem is…”
- “I’m trying to put some public events on to get clients, but the problem is…”
- “We would be doing a lot better except for _____. The problem is…”
On and on it went. After a while, I stopped initiating conversation. It was just too depressing. Every challenge they faced was met with excuses.
When you run into a challenge or an ominous task, you have two possible options when facing it: fight or flight.
If you choose to fight, it’s probably because you’ve faced something similar before.
If you choose to flee, it’s because of two possible responses to your ability to fight:
You can’t vs.you won’t.
- If you can’t fight, it means you don’t know how. That’s an easy fix. You learn how to do it.
- If you won’t fight, it means you CHOOSE not to fight. That’s more difficult to fix.
If you’re afraid, at least own it. But owning it means you can’t blame anyone or anything for it.
The advisors were a combination of can’t and won’t. Sadly, most chose to give up and blame.
And blame doesn’t fix anything. It just excuses it.
This week, think about how often you blame something as an excuse. I do it far more than I care to admit. How about you?