I’m one of the few veterans who don’t look back fondly on my military service.
It might be because I joined simply because I needed a job.
It could be because I was in a career field that was a dead-end for me.
But it most likely was because of some of the dreadful bosses I worked for over that 15 years.
When I got out of the Navy in early 1999, I tossed all my uniforms in the dumpster (in full view of my shipmates as I headed out the door). In fact, I got rid of most of the vestiges of my service save for one: the enormous chip I had on my shoulder.
The last two years of my career were the toughest. I finally figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life (the career I have now) but was working for a couple of people who I was in constant conflict with: our Command Master Chief (CMC) and our Executive Officer (XO).
On my way out the door, both were sure to remind me that I wouldn’t make it on the outside and that my dreams of owning my own business doing management training would fail. “You’ll be fixing computers for a living Munro,” said the XO in my transfer briefing.
For the first three or so years, I dwelled on that. Essentially, those final words fueled my ambition. But they also kept me bitter and angry.
One day I realized that if the CMC and XO were even still alive, they had long forgotten about me. I was the one living in the past.
The “L” in BLAMEr is for Living in the Past. I was there. And when I made the choice to live in the present, I was happier. I even took on a project teaching transition skills to separating and retiring veterans. Although I still don’t look back with happiness on those 15 years, I know it was important for my development.
There is a reason your car has a small rearview mirror and a massive windshield. You won’t get anywhere by looking backward and you’ll probably wind up in an accident. Living in the past keeps you from succeeding in the future.
I still struggle with this occasionally but remind myself that none of my life would be the same now if I didn’t have those 15 years.
What are you still holding onto that leads to BLAME? Maybe it’s a good time to look forward. That way you won’t miss the next great opportunity.