How to Gripe…Properly

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One of the best things about the days I spent working for somebody else was the ability to gripe.

I did it before I joined the Navy, as a stock clerk at the Ralph’s grocery store in Tustin, CA.

I did a bunch of it during my time in the Navy.

I did it while working in an excruciatingly boring job in Washington DC after the Navy.

But griping isn’t really something to be proud of.  Griping shows a lack of ownership of a situation.  It happens though and so as The Boss, if you’re going to gripe, you must do it properly.

First though, let’s define the word.  Griping is when you complain out loud about something in your current reality.  As a stock clerk I griped about the hours I worked. As a sailor, well, there are no shortage of things to gripe about!  At the association, I griped about a narcissistic co-worker.

You have the right to gripe. But use that gripe carefully. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Gripe about the right things. Gripe about things that are frustrating or annoying, but only those things with which you have NO power or ability to fix.  Anything you can fix or influence is off the table.
  2. Gripe at the right time. You can gripe about things that were not in your power to fix and have already happened.  If you’re griping about something that hasn’t happened yet, stop and get busy working to improve that thing.
  3. Gripe in the right direction.  As The Boss, you can gripe up, but never down.  Your team gripes to you.  You gripe to your boss.
  4. Gripe to the right people. Your boss can receive gripes, in the same way you do.  Feel free to gripe to your peers.  Someone in equal position Someone that you trust and can confide in.  Sometimes it’s healthy to vent.
  5. Gripe, and then be done with it. Griping can be healthy and productive, in the same way blowing your nose is healthy and productive.  But then it’s over with and time for you to get busy and productive.

As The Boss, you’re not immune to stress and pressure.  Do what you need to survive and then get busy helping your team do the same.  After all, if they’re griping to you, you’ll need to do what you can to improve whatever situation is bothering them.