This is Day #4 of 14 Days to Better Workplace Relationships, a collaboration between Boss Builders and Wisdom Tree Coaching.
As The Boss, it’s your job to build rapport. In moving from total stranger to trusted advisor with a direct report, don’t neglect the power of mutual respect.
We define respect as “people take me seriously.”
We want others to take our contributions, opinions, work output, and appearance seriously.
Everyone craves respect, from an underperforming football team to a group of gangbangers in a back alley. If we don’t get it, we my resort to unhealthy ways to earn it.
- A woman who wants to be respected at work goes into debt buying expensive suits and a fancy car to impress her peers.
- A youth commits a crime to be respected by his classmates.
- An couple in a subdivision spends lavishly and neglects to save for retirement just so they can keep up with their neighbors’ vacations and toys.
Of course these are extreme examples but let’s think about how respect impacts your relationship with your direct reports.
Our job is to professionally develop our team. To do this, we have to identify gaps in performance and challenge our team to fill those gaps. If they don’t feel respected, they’ll push back. Try following these steps:
- Acknowledge the strengths you observe in the individual. Call attention to their accomplishments and helpful traits.
- Communicate your desire that they achieve their maximum potential while working for you.
- Co-create professional development goals both short and long term.
- Identify the gaps between their current performance and those goals.
- Offer your assistance in helping them close those gaps.
What you’ve done is acknowledge their current worth (respect), shown your interest in their career development (respect), identified areas they can get better (respect), and offered your assistance to get there (respect for both of you).
When a person feels as though you see value in them, they feel respect and will have respect for you.
That’s mutual respect.
And that’s a pretty important step in building rapport!