Guest Post by The Curiosity Coach Margi Bush of Wisdom Tree Coaching
“What questions will you ask to learn something new every day.” —Margi Bush.
As you are learning to manage your assumptions and demonstrate more curiosity, you are moving from the place of being a Total Strangerto your direct reports to becoming Better Acquainted. Today, we want to introduce you to the idea of Lowered Defenses.
Effective relationships with direct reports will take consistent effort and another valuable tool that helps you on the Road to Rapportis the ability toLower Defenses. Lowering defenses is the beginning to get better acquainted because this where you and your direct report begin to feel comfortable enough to start a dialogue.
As the Boss, avoid the “drive-by” or the “flyby” approaches and begin to pay more attention to your conversations with direct reports. Take the time to ask more questions to learn more about your direct reports. You will want to understand some common dialogue disasters.
Here are common dialogue disasters:
- One-Upping (“You think that is something, I….”)
- Suggestions (“Why didn’t you try…?”)
- Hijacking (“That reminds me of…”)
- Explanations (“Sounds like are being too….”)
When common Dialogue Disasters occur, we lose the ability to create mutual respect, encourage self-disclosure and open up space for inquiry with others.
At Boss Builders and Wisdom Tree Coaching we use our values exploration worksheet, motivation discovery wheels and the Life Odometer for legacy discussions to encourage meaningful dialogue with direct reports.
What possibilities might be in your future as the Boss when you demonstrate the ability toLower Defenses and have meaningful dialogue with direct reports?
We wish you a week of Being a Great Boss.