I don’t consider myself a stubborn person, but I don’t like to be told what to do, or what I can’t do.
I complied when I had to while in the Navy, but once I got out, it was a little harder. When I started my business, I made up for my lack of experience with confidence and curiosity. We took on clients and projects that were way above our weight, but we did just fine.
When COVID hit, we refused to give up and doubled down on virtual workshops using drawing and coloring. It was something nobody else was doing. When change came, we embraced it and innovated.
But this week, right before I went into the operating room to have my left shoulder repaired, I faced a change that I would have to accept.
Now nobody knows this, but I’ve always had a secret goal to bench press 300 lbs. The closest I’ve ever gotten was 265 so I figured it was in reach. I used to think about it for a milestone birthday like 50 or 55, but never did it. With 60 approaching, I was considering that bench press to be a worthy way to celebrate.
Just before the anesthesiologist started my medication, the surgeon asked me if I had any last questions.
“When this is over and I heal, will I be able to lift heavy weights again?”
“No,” he replied. “If you lift, it’s only light weights for high reps.”
And just like that, I had a change to accept. There was no getting around this one. Or the next one we were soon to face.
Because my surgery was postponed a week, it directly impacted my ability to drive my wife last Friday for her surgery. We had a choice: have Barb’s parents come out and take her (which would be far more of a hassle than a help) or call our daughter Allison to come down from St. Louis.
For the first time, we reached out to our kids for help. Both of us are used to helping out our aging parents but thought it would be a long way off before we needed help. Our surgeries made that day come a whole lot sooner.
Sometimes change comes along that we must simply accept. Sure, I could try some ill-conceived “comeback” and get a trainer and try to do that bench press despite my shoulder repairs, but what would that prove? And who would it prove it to?
While the ideal is to embrace change, sometime accepting it is hard enough. Realizing you’re not as young, independent, and healthy as you used to be is one of those big changes.
On the Gears of Change, this is simply a WILL problem. And the only way to power through is to get motivated to change, or face to consequences of not changing.
All of us are or will face these inevitable, life-changing, and often permanent changes. How will you handle it when you face them?