Just the other night at a hometown football game
My wife and I ran into my old high school flame
And as I introduced them the past came back to me
And I couldn’t help but think of the way things used to be
She was the one that I’d wanted for all times
And each night I’d spend prayin’ that God would make her mine
And if he’d only grant me this wish I wished back then
I’d never ask for anything again
Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers
Remember when you’re talkin’ to the man upstairs
That just because he doesn’t answer doesn’t mean he don’t care
Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers
Unanswered Prayers – Garth Brooks. 1990.
As we near the end of 2022, it’s time for my annual Thanksgiving post about being thankful. The last couple of years I tried to break down the distinction between thankful and grateful. This year, maybe it’s time to do something different.
I’ve written about my journey into positive intelligence (PQ) this year. I reflected on the child version of me and have been working hard to keep my saboteurs under control.
One of the strategies in PQ is to counter the saboteurs with sage practices. This will all make sense if you read the book Positive Intelligence by Shirzad Chamin. One of them is to view every situation as a gift. Gifts of knowledge, power, or inspiration.
The character in Unanswered Prayers is learning that firsthand. As he thinks back about what he wanted early in his life, he now sees the gift in NOT getting what he wanted. If he got what he prayed for, he wouldn’t have the wonderful family he has now.
While serving on active duty in the mid-1990s, my wife and I were actively pursuing a commission in the Navy as Medical Service Corps officers. We attended college on evenings and weekends to get our undergrad and graduate degrees and did what we could to remain competitive for this in our jobs. And yet, each year we were not selected. Finally, after the third rejection, I decided to give up. Then, shortly after that I had the run-in with my boss which set me up for the career I have now. If I was selected for the officer program, I would never have started this business. Oh yes, my wife was selected the following year and enjoyed the latter half of her career as an officer.
After starting my new career, I began to feel frustrated as saw people my age who were further along in their careers than I was. I started to blame the Navy again. If I only knew what I wanted to do earlier, I would be more successful now. What I didn’t realize then was that by starting my career later, I was able to get a chance at bigger projects early on simply because I didn’t look like I was fresh out of college. I learned from each project and quickly made up for lost time. Not to mention I learned a whole lot about bad bosses from those 15 years on active duty!
This year, why not try something different. Certainly, give thanks for the good stuff that happened this year. But maybe think about what didn’t go right. Maybe you lost a job or didn’t get a promotion. Maybe you had some personal disappointments. I wonder if looking at the potential good in that might help? Remember, look for what resulted in gifts of knowledge, power, or inspiration. What did you achieve because you DIDN’T get what you REALLY wanted? I’ve tried to implement this practice in 2022. Maybe give it a try?
Happy Thanksgiving!