Pressure pushin’ down on me
Pressin’ down on you, no man ask for
Under pressure that burns a building down
Splits a family in two, puts people on streets
That’s the terror of knowing what this world is about
Watchin’ some good friends screamin’, “Let me out”
Turned away from it all like a blind man
Sat on the fence but it don’t work
Keep comin’ up with love but it’s so slashed and torn
Why, why, why?
Love
Insanity laughs under pressure we’re breaking
I don’t know about you, but I seem to have a much shorter fuse these days. Things seem to annoy me faster and I don’t have as much patience anymore.
I’ve also noticed this from others. Simple breakdowns in communication result in disputes that go viral on social media. Mild disagreements escalate into physical violence. On a personal level, I’ve seen much more unhappy comments from participants in our programs and my talks than usual. After talking to some of my colleagues, I’ve discovered they are seeing and experiencing the same things with their groups. Things that we do with the best of intentions seem to either fall flat or inflame emotions. One of my colleagues summed it up best: “My groups seem very ‘triggered.’”
And maybe that’s it. We’re all under pressure. Which is why I’m using the lyrics to that famous Queen and David Bowie collaboration from 1981 Under Pressure.
The past two years have kicked the hell out of us. I don’t believe anyone will emerge from 2020-2022 better for the experience. The challenge now for all of us is to manage intent vs. impact. To do that requires two levels of reflection:
Intent (what we want to say and why):
Years ago, when I was stationed in Australia, we made the mistake of inviting some Aussie rugby players to participate in our intramural flag football league. In their first game, they forgot that there was no tackling. After one play where our quarterback was decked by an Aussie and was ejected, we all fell on the ground laughing when the player told the ref that “he didn’t mean to do it.” His intention was good. The impact was not.
With your idea, thought, or communication, define what your intention is. Then, figure out the best way to communicate or provide what you want. In my workshops, my intent is to information that will help you be a better boss. And plenty of tools and examples to help you remember the lessons. Nothing more. But I now know the importance of keeping in mind the next part: the impact.
Impact (how others receive this message and respond):
This is a tricky one since we can’t read people’s minds or fully understand what they’re going through. And, if a person is triggered, there is no way we can predict how something might be received. Now you can dismiss this as having to be politically correct, but it’s more than that. Nobody (at least I hope) wakes up in the morning thinking of creative ways to make you angry. The person who charged my mom $1,300.00 for a dental procedure she declined didn’t do it to scam an old lady. It was just a simple mistake. The person at the VA who accidentally hung up on me after I waited 20 minutes on hold didn’t do it because they wanted to piss me off. Although it was challenging, I chose not to berate either one of these folks. They didn’t intend harm so it’s on me not to take it personally.
This week, keep this in mind in your interactions with others. We’re all under pressure. I don’t know when it will end. I’m going to attempt to be a better human. Maybe that’s what we all need to do.
Can’t we give ourselves one more chance?
Why can’t we give love that one more chance?
Why can’t we give love, give love, give love, give love
Give love, give love, give love, give love?
‘Cause love’s such an old-fashioned word
And love dares you to care for
The people on the edge of the night
And love dares you to change our way of
Caring about ourselves
This is our last dance
This is ourselves
Under pressure