“You M*&^%$#s disrespected us!” (Gang members upon seeing a rival gang in their turf)- “Nobody respected us last year but they do now!” (Winning sports team after a year of worst-to-first)
- “I meant no disrespect.” (Politician to a rival in a debate)
Respect is a word we toss around lightly but in fact it’s a loaded word. Respect means that people take you seriously. Being disrespected means that people don’t take you seriously. From gang members who protect their turf, to athletes who achieve great turnarounds, to people who want to make a point without insulting their opponent, we live in a world that values and recognizes the power of respect.
If being respected is so important, how can we gain it? To get respect you have to be respectable. In other words, do the things that get people to take you seriously.
If you’re The Boss, respect is important. Your job is to manage and inspire a workforce. You can’t do that if people don’t respect you. How do you get it? First you have to subtract some disrespect-worthy behaviors:
- Planning Stupid (AKA being late). I was taught in the military that on-time was late. 10 minutes early was your goal. Earlier was even better. Show up late enough times and people won’t take you seriously.
- Acting stupid. Are you acting appropriate to the group, the venue, or the job? If not, you’re viewed as being stupid. Stupid people won’t get taken seriously.
- Being stupid. Do you spend time growing yourself intellectually? Do you work at making good, strategic, rational decisions? If not, get busy growing your brain. Stupid people won’t get taken seriously.
- Talking stupid. Two examples here.
- Beginning each sentence with the word SO (“So…I’m thinking of having cornflakes for breakfast”). Quit trying to pretend you’re pitching to the sharks on Shark Tankand answer a question without the word SO.
- Kardashian Syndrome. Ending each sentence with an uptick, as if your statement is a question. “So…(double trouble here) I got up this morning? And I thought since I’m watching my cholesterol? That maybe I would have cornflakes for breakfast?” That’s how people talk in Australia but here in the U.S. it just sounds dumb.
People who talk stupid won’t be taken seriously.
Dressing stupid. Dress appropriate for your audience, your peers, your profession, and your job. A good rule of thumb might be just dressing one step above expectation. Better to be overdressed than underdressed or inappropriate. You’ll be judged on what you look like even before you open your mouth. And you’re really screwed if you show up late AND come dressed inappropriately.
Stupid is a stupid does. Forrest Gump.
This week, take some time to think about what you’re doing that breeds disrespect. Your success depends on how you’re viewed by others. Respect comes from your technical and intellectual acumen. Please don’t ruin all that hard work by doing what results in you losing respect. In other words, don’t be stupid.