A few years ago, I had the road trip from hell. I left on Sunday and flew to California – way out in the sticks – a place called Grass Valley. Spent Monday through Wednesday there and then drove to the San Francisco Airport to catch a red-eye flight to Hartford via Detroit. I had to deliver another workshop on Thursday morning so I was on a very tight schedule. It all turned out just fine and I made my connections, but I learned something about life in First Class.
My assistant was able to talk my client into letting me fly that red-eye in First Class because #1 they wouldn’t have to spring for a hotel room for me and #2, my arthritic hip wouldn’t survive that long sitting in the middle seat on an overnight flight. Since I normally fly Southwest Airlines everywhere, I have no loyalty points on other airlines which means I’m usually relegated to Coach.
I’ve always heard that the people who fly in First Class are a nicer grade of people. Some flight attendants have admitted this to me. Now I know why.
From the moment I stepped into the First Class cabin, I was greeted with a big smile and friendly greeting. My butt barely hit the seat and I was offered a drink, pillow, and blanket. The flight attendant offered to hang up my coat. I was treated like royalty. After all that, how could you be anything BUT nice to the flight attendant. I’m sure they all though I was a nice guy too. But as the REST of the passengers boarded, I saw them hurriedly rushed to the back of the plane. No offers of pillow or a whole lot of smiles. For some reason, those Coach passengers seemed really grumpy and mean. I wonder why?
The longer I live, the more I realize that we all get back what we first give. We align very nicely with the Pygmalion Effect, the phenomenon that happens when others are led to believe that we are nice, intelligent people. In 1968, educators Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson studied the Pygmalion Effect in the classroom. Their study showed that if teachers were led to expect enhanced performance from some children, then the children did indeed show that enhancement. The purpose of the experiment was to support the hypothesis that reality can be influenced by the expectations of others. Rosenthal found that biased expectancies can essentially affect reality and create self-fulfilling prophecies as a result.
What does this mean for us? Think about the following:
- You give a passenger friendly service and they reciprocate with a kind demeanor.
- You give a passenger “attitude” and they respond back with “attitude”
- As managers we treat our direct reports with empathy and respect and they respond with great performance.
- We see our direct reports and lazy and disengaged and they fulfill our low expectations.
- Our kids are told they are important and talented and they take on bigger challenges and become successful.
- You treat your kids like they’re a failure and they simply become that self-fulfilling prophecy.
Each day all of us have opportunities to treat people and situations with optimism and respect. I firmly believe that we get back what we give. This week, think about how you see the people around you? Maybe this is the week nice guys and gals should start finishing first.
What do you think?