Most of you know that I make my living by helping organizations solve problems and teaching managers how to be more effective. It’s a fun job but every now and then I run into clients like “Rob.”
Rob was promoted into a management position because of his great technical skills. He was always the one to get his job done correctly and quickly. When the opportunity came to replace Rob’s boss, his name was quickly suggested. Rob was flattered and excited about the pay raise he would be getting. What he didn’t realize was how tough his new job would be.
By the time I met Rob, he’d been in his role for about two years. He was a willing participant in my management workshop held onsite at his company but when I hung around for an extra day to do some one-on-one follow-up, he seemed a little reluctant. After chatting with Rob for about 15 minutes, it was plain that he regretted taking the management job but was too embarrassed to step down. According to Rob’s boss, he was not doing a great job and often reverted back to doing technical parts of the job again. Listening to Rob talk about the experience, it was obvious what he should do. Unfortunately, he would have to make the choice. Here’s what I told him:
Rob, you’re obviously miserable. You’re not having fun and from what I’m told, you’re not especially successful at it. As I see it, here are your options (which I refer to as the BIG THREE):
- Accept it. Embrace your misery. Continue on doing everything exactly as you’ve always done it. Don’t expect anything to change.
- Change it. Make a commitment to grow your management skills and get busy doing it. Take some classes, read some books, work with me as a coach, but change something.
- Walk away from it. Realize that you’re happier doing the technical aspects of the job. Go back to doing what you used to do and work to be the very best you can.
In Rob’s case, he chose #3. That was about a year ago and last time I heard from him, he was much happier. Fortunately, his boss allowed him to bow out gracefully. Rob’s replacement was hired from outside the company and is doing well.
So what’s the lesson for us? Deal with the stuff in life that’s unacceptable. Rather than focus on misery, come up with a plan. Either accept it, maybe just for the time being, change it, or walk away from it. Simple lessons but ones that I know can have a profoundly positive effect on your life.
What are you wrestling with this week? Why not take some time to view it through the BIG THREE. Let me know how it turns out!