I’ve quit quite a few things in my life. Jobs, careers, diets, and some relationships among many others. Quitting is quite easy. So easy, that if you’re not careful, it can become a habit. Since many of us are using this quarantine time to try new things, it might be important to address the important issue of quitting, maybe before even getting started. There are three critical questions to ask before making that decision.
Whose Voice Do You Hear When Planning to Quit?
My dad was a great starter but he rarely finished anything. His life followed a narrative that began when he was in elementary school. He was in a woodworking class, working on building a boat. Not having a father figure, he had no knowledge of how to build anything. He simply pounded a bunch of nails into a block of wood. The teacher came over and picked up his boat and held it up.
“Class, what’s wrong with this boat?” she asked.
“Too many nails!” they responded.
That incident bothered him his entire adult life. I know because he told it to me and my brother all the time, and to all of his grandkids too. I think the reason he failed to follow through as an adult was because of that narrative.
What narrative are you listening to when you want to quit? A teacher, coach, or parent? Keep in mind that whoever said it is either dead or probably doesn’t remember doing it. Only YOU are keeping it alive. Don’t quit until you answer this question.
Are You Leaning on Sour Grapes?
The fable of the fox and the sour grapes has been around for a long time. In the story, the fox keeps jumping up trying to get the grapes but can’t reach them. Finally, out of frustration, he quits and mutters the response “it’s ok, they were probably sour anyway.”
If you quit something, are you going to own your decision or blame it on an excuse?
- “I’m going to quit that diet. It wasn’t going to work anyway.”
- “I won’t try out for the team. They don’t ever pick people like me anyway.”
- “I’m going to quit this sport. I never really wanted to play it anyway.”
The list goes on. After I gave up trying for the Medical Service Corp Inservice Procurement Officer Program in the Navy, I remember telling myself that I would rather get out of the Navy than be an officer anyway. Sour grapes I guess…
What Will You Do in Place of the Quitted Thing?
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with quitting something to make space for something more important. Maybe you’ve quit a sport to concentrate on academics. Perhaps you’re giving up on an unhealthy relationship to focus time on personal healing. Sometimes you have to let go of something to gain something better.
But if there’s nothing more important than the thing you’ve quit that you’ll be doing, then maybe that’s not the best decision. In the spirit of continuous improvement, see if you can use that extra time for personal or professional growth.
There’s nothing wrong with a well-thought out decision to quit. Just remember that nothing good comes easy and that you’ll always be tempted to quit when things go wrong. Be sure to ask the three questions before making your decision.
